By Ivan Raltchev
Before I forget
Before life speeds up
while today melts away
When everything is a blur
When I am he and Not me
I think of you as just her
Then comes tonight
Before the clock strikes midnight
While our world is sleeping
Time slows down
things are back in focus
the mask falls away
the façade is just a charade
I am now me, human
You are not ‘just’ her
You are infinitely more than ‘just’, divine
My eyes forget
But my heart sees true
You are her and She is you
I am very lucky.
I’ve had a very happy life.
There are a few who love me much more than I love them.
I don’t love what I do for money.
My daughter’s name will be Narmada.
I found the most important thing in my life.
I don’t like to follow any rules unless I believe in them. (this includes religion)
The children keep us from killing each other. We are human because of them.
just like another flower
but much more than a flower
its color more important
than its fragrance
the talisman
of friendship
of health
of love
many colors to give
but one color stands out
one color we all want in our life
to give, to receive
born for a purpose
a bridge between two people
bringing together
sometimes forever
some cherish it
some use it
everybody believes in it
someone
somewhere
has brought it here
to remind us
that
we are human,
capable of greatness,
capable of love,
so go forth my friends
hold it out
feel it yourself
know what the the other feels
give it….
what does it feel like?
this feeling
powerful than all
more beautiful than all
Don’t be confused
it is just a surge of love
within your small heart
and it all started with a tiny ROSE
Image by Fernando
A friend requested this poem on a rose. Thank You, this was a great start for this weekend.
Exactly a year ago, I was watching the movie “Motorcycle Diaries” on a long weekend. This is a movie about Che Guvera before he becomes a revolutionary.
Che and his friend embark on a 8000km motorcycle journey across South American continent.
Why?
The movie shows them biking through all kinds of terrains in diverse weather conditions including heavy snow.
I was watching this with envy, wondering when I would get the courage to do something so huge.
and just like that
I decided to go on a trip.
- I switched off the movie ( unfinished).
- Packed a small bag.
- Told my goodbyes to Mom and Dad.
- Got on the bike for a 250 km journey to Vijayawada from Hyderabad.
Insanity!
This journey happened in last June, middle of the summer. The return journey started after noon and the temperature soared above 45 degrees C(113 F).
I was on the road for the next 6 hours before I reached Hyderabad at 6PM.
Just Human
Doing something huge requires giving up something big. I was neglecting a major factor in these adventures – my physical body.
I was not in great physical shape, there was no planning and proper breaks were not taken. And it was plain STUPID!
Something had to give – My NECK!
The new journey
A new journey started the very next day after my return, a journey with ups and downs, a journey which is still going on, a journey of PAIN.
The first few weeks were quite painful for my neck. Things came to a breaking point when I tried to ignore the pain and played football/soccer.
Of course, the pain had subsided and disappeared. But it has always returned like a long-lost friend.
Solutions
I tried a few solutions with the help of doctors with only small success
1. Pain killers
2. Light exercise
3. Physiotherapy
4. Myotherapy (Trigger points)
The actual problem is with my work life. Working in front of a computer for 10-14 hours a day is aggravating this problem.
I have done this for more than 7 years and my neck has finally decided that it has had enough! 
This month
Last month, the pain almost vanished and I started swimming and after three weeks, there was a shooting pain in my triceps. A sign that something was going wrong.
The neck started complaining and adding to this was a botched up back flip at the pool. My swimming program effectively came to an end.
Pain started moving down my shoulders into my wrists, computer usage was now a painful experience. This was becoming a clear case of RSI - Repetitive Stress Syndrome.
Now
After the trigger point therapy and regular stretches, my neck pain is now reduced to a dull ache and my wrists and hands are more or less better. So now I started blogging to a small extent.
So biking has started this. Will you now give it up?
Ever since this whole problem started a year ago, I never completely gave up on my extreme adventures.
- I did my longest solo ride of a 500km round trip where I spent more than 30 hours alone on the highway.
- I did a 120 km bike ride with a colleague.
- I ran/jogged 10km twice.
Right now, it is just watch and wait. I will get better and get back to these adventures. But I will remember to plan them in a better way.
What I learnt (still learning)!
- Neck pain sucks!
- Being healthy and fit is really critical to our happiness.
- You never realize this until you actually lose it.
- None of us can’t escape it continuing in our present situation – sitting at a desk the whole day, zero exercise, poor sleep.
- Most Important: None of you will get any of this until you really have a problem and after that it is hard to recover. Those who take this post as a wakeup call and start acting are the lucky ones and in my opinion, a very small minority.
and so this concludes a detailed excuse for not following up on my writing.(Time to stretch my wrists)
A ripple
can change everything
yet remain too small
for any life changing
There are dreams
which are dreamt
You wakeup
with a thought
this is the start
the first ripple
hold onto the thought
follow the ripples
now you have more thoughts
endless ripples
and then it is no longer a thought
an idea is born
ripples are now splashes
splashes become froth
a trickle has become a raging flood
now comes the energy
to direct the current
what started as a beam of light
is now an explosion of energy
out it pours
to illuminate the universe
an idea IS
For now it is pure and bright
too powerful to control
too many threads to make sense
I let it out here
a raw hope
I will not control
I will not refine
I will not hold it down
today, it is free
and so I think
Dream. Think. Imagine
How many of you work in a software company?
Anyone working in an Indian Software company is intimately aware of his chair. We believe it is the source of all trouble – physical.
You get a back ache or a neck problem, then it must be the chair. You try to fiddle around with its controls to make it more suitable for your unique (and lazy) posture.
There are three levels of adjustment to the office chair
- Height of the seat
- Height of the arm rests
- Angle of the back rest
Now imagine that you were not aware of one of these 3 adjustment options.
Now imagine that you never found out about the missing adjustment for years.
Impossible?
Nope. Remember Abhi?
Last week I came in to sit in my chair after a break, found that my chair’s back rest was no longer at my preferred angle of 80 degree.
Someone unlocked the backrest and when I sat, it just swung back to the maximum angle.
So I just set my angle, lock the chair there with a lever below the seat.
Abhi : Hey! can you lock it at an angle?
Me: Yeah.
Abhi: WoW! I had no idea. This is great. I always exchange my chair for one which is locked. I thought some chairs were defective.
I was really surprised. Abhi could not figure out something which many of us figure out in the first few seconds of sitting in a modern-day office chair.
He was ignorant about this feature for the last 3 years.
Abhi went to prove that he was not the only one. The other two guys in my sections also had no clue about this feature.
All these years they had to adjust with chairs which arch all the way by 45 degrees.
Their solution: Steal chairs from other desks which had a locked back.:-)
You?
Okay you had your laugh at these guys. Now think about this.
What if you missed a very useful feature in your tool? A feature which would make your work life much more comfortable.
As software engineers, we use plenty of tools in our work day. Some of these are core of our work, such as :- Email Client, an IDE (eclipse, visual studio), ms office, browser, internet, google.
Are you sure you know all the important features (tricks) of these tools?
What if you believed (like abhi) that there were only two features to your tool.
You go on working for years never even knowing there was an easy way to do things within your tool(s). You never even tried looking for it.
Some Examples of tricks and features of common tools
Google Search
Giving a - between two words searches for a combination. So searching for “tool-box” gives results of “toolbox” and also “tool box”
site: This keyword will help you search within a website. So searching “site:http://www.cnn.com obama” will search content within cnn.com
filetype: This keyword will search return results of that files. filetype:doc java will give you docs and pdfs about java. Great way to search for ebooks.
Browser
Single click with middle button of your mouse on a hyper-link will open a new tab with that webpage
Developers will love the “Find in Files” search feature of notepad++
There are thousands of such examples for everyday tools which make are our life easier and interesting.
We should try to make efforts to search and fiddle with all the handles of our tool(s).
I love the shower. I always use it.
So what happens in a shower?
Hold! I’m not going into the intimate (gory) details of the shower. Rather, this is about how your mind wanders while in the shower.
Work
I think about work – left over tasks, problems, discussions. Then I make a quick mental to-do list for the day.
Relationships
I think about relationships – How they suck or How they are so much fun. This generally happens in the night when I replay the day’s events in my mind, sometimes smiling at funny incidents with friends.
Other times, I’m very upset at someone I argued or had a fight with. The incident plays in my mind, I stop, rewind and play it again in slow motion. This helps me to analyze what happened, who started it, my reactions, did I do any mistakes, or how to avoid a similar issue in the future.
Fun
Most often I start wondering about having fun. Which games to play, movies to watch, partying, travelling, books to read and more
Sometimes story ideas just come together in that few minutes. This post was conceived in the shower
Crazy Decisions
One time, during that 15 minutes, I decided to go for a long bike ride. And went so right after a change of clothes. Just like. It was a very expensive shower.
Why do I do that? I have no clue. But somehow that short session makes you concentrate on other important aspects of life or the day.
I read about people being great singers in the shower, but I never heard so (Thank God). I tried that only a few times, maybe it’s a girl thing.
Image from here.
'Elated Anticipation of a Child' by Aaron Knapp
Remember when you were a child, your day’s goal was simple.
“Go out and Play”
Last week, my friend, Aaron drew a very nice picture of a little girl playing. He then asked his viewers to remember their own childhood and the simpler times.
Do you remember those times and the simple games?
Running and Chasing
Most of the games involved ‘running away’ or ‘running after’.
Now, what are we ‘Running Away’ from? and what are we running after?
I’m running away from my fears and the obvious truths about myself.
I’m chasing after some dreams – become this and that. Hoping that when I finally get them, I will be happy!
But what about from now to becoming/doing something? Most of us don’t realize that we are losing THIS time and moment to be happy.
The simple Question
I remember in the Art of Living session, the guru asked the 100-200 people present there to write answers for a simple question.
When will you be happy?
So we all went home and next day, came back with our answers.
I wrote something like this
I will be happy when
- I buy a super bike.
- I travel the world.
- Become a writer.
The guru was asking random people to tell everybody their own answers. Some of them were
When my children get married.
When my parents are happy.
When I get a job.
When I become rich.
When I meet my goals.
When I become this or do that.
I was patiently listening and then it HIT ME – the answer to “When will I be happy?” is
NOW!
It was so simple and obvious and none of us ever realized it. In our haste to catch our dreams
we forget the present,
we (sometimes) forget our loved ones,
we forget our own simple pleasures.
We lose today to gain tomorrow.
Later, the guru told us the same answer. Before that, in my over-excitement and happy with this ‘eureka’ moment, I told the people around me about the answer.
At least I got the theory right. Now the trick is to implement that
Don’t make a fool of yourself
Thats what you would think when you, as an adult, want to play these simple games. After all, no self-respecting adult would just run around chasing another adult, especially in a silly game meant for kids.
Stop! Don’t think like that. You don’t have to imitate other adults.
We had a simple activity at AoL (Art Of Living). Two people sit facing each other and on the count of 3, A will start clapping and B has to stop A from clapping. That’s it!
I was A and so the first time, I could, with some effort, stop my partner from clapping.
When it was my turn to clap, someone mentioned that I could try anything to keep on clapping, including running away.
And so with the count down 3 2 1..I just got up and ran away clapping, my partner was completely taken by surprise.
Others also tried a similar escape, the dome for the AoL session was filled with clapping, running, giggling adults. The laughter was not forced, we were kids again. It was pure fun!
Now imagine doing that on your own, without a Guru asking you to do it.
We don’t! We NEVER do. We are just too embarrassed to act/play like kids in public, and for some even in private.
Why do we readily agree when a guru asks us to do so?
Why is it perfectly alright for 22 grown men to chase after a ball in front of thousands of people and so embarrassing to play chasing games with other adults in a small park?
Legally doing it
So I think some of you agree that we should have fun playing simple games, at least some times.
Face it, our lifestyles make us sit on our ass for 24/7 365 days. We are out of shape.
Running around until your lungs burst is great.
There is a way, to try out these games and avoid the embarrassment.
Chase Kids!
So if you can’t chase adults, then chase kids, they don’t mind.
Playing kid games with kids is perfectly legal and nobody will stare at you or mock you now.
Dads and Moms with young kids are lucky here, they are having fun joining their kids in games.
For rest of us, we can just borrow our nieces or nephews or entertain the neighborhood brat pack.
Chase Girls
Yeah. We men have done that from ages. We just don’t it literally.
You could try chasing after your girlfriend, although very entertaining for others, it wouldn’t work. Girls these days are too “lady-like” to just run around
So next time you get an opportunity. Have fun. Don’t worry about being watched or your work problems.
Just Run. Be happy NOW!
Let me know if you had fun imitating kids in their fun.
When was the last time you shot someone in the face?
If you haven’t, I suggest you pick up a good weapon and blast off random dudes/zombies in any of the ‘First Person Shooter’ games available in the market.
Gaming is an amazing way to release stress while at the same time having loads of fun.
I find myself completely forgetting the world and it’s problem while playing games on the computer.
Gaming is one of the few activities where my concentration levels peak.
You are the King of the world
Step into the worlds of these games as the hero and you truly are invincible.
You can be the Hero, survivor, king, commander, mayor, pilot, sport star, Tomb rider 
Kill humans or zombies or aliens.
Control vast armies.
Jump over tall buildings.
Fly supersonic fighters.
Race cars.
Build cities as a Mayor.
Build a civilization in an outer world.
Go on quests.
Play your favorite sport.
and more.
If you think your imagination is limitless, just try out some of the latest games.
Here is a quick list of my favorite games. I hope you can watch at least some of the videos linked here.
Call of Duty 6
Genre: FPS
Releases: CoD 1-6
C0D started with a WWII theme and has now evolved to “Modern Warfare 2″ . It doesn’t feel just like a game, I feel like lead in a war movie. The plot, graphics and the game play are just outstanding.
This is now the current best multi-player FPS game.
Counter Strike
Genre: FPS
Releases: 1.5, 1.6 and Condition Zero
I madly fell in love with this multi-player game. This game is exclusively meant for multi-player. CS is still the most popular FPS at gaming cafes. The game is about Terrorists Vs Counter-Terrorists. It was all about kills and headshots.
Quake
Genre: FPS
Quake revolutionized multi-player for FPS games. The game types like capture-the-flag, deathmatch mode are still very popular. Playing this game is always a lot of fun.
This shooting game is very different from CS or CoD, your character will take a lot more hits from various out-world weapons before getting killed.
You have to experience both kinds of FPS to truly enjoy fragging:)
Doom 2
Genre: FPS
Only the second FPS game I ever played. I was a kid when this game came out. Naturally my older brother got to play it first while I watched.
Doom 2 scared the hell out of me, I still remember being afraid of the dark corners in this game. You never know when something jumps out. In my panic, I hardly let my brother play peacefully.
WoW! what a thrill. I can never forget Doom 2.
Wolfenstein 3D
Genre: FPS
My first ever FPS game. Before this I was shooting around in Arcade style games like Contra. I love this!
Stars!
Genre: Turn – based Strategy 4X
This is a very complex strategy game which is highly addictive. You play with other people across the world and send in your moves through email or other ways.
I loved this game, spending many months. Had to stop playing because it was taking up too much of our time.
Command and Conquer
Genre: Real Time Strategy
C&C and Red Alert was the first real time strategy I ever played and I was blown off with this new concept of gaming.
A player builds up a vast army and acts as a commander of this army. You get control the troops, create building, research technology and more.
Starcraft
Genre: Real Time Strategy
Gamespot mentions Starcraft as the best game ever. In Korea, gamers of Starcraft are hailed as sportsmen and they get sponsorship too.
I tried the multiplayer mode for this game and it is great fun. A Pity that internet speeds were low at that time.
Warcraft III
Genre: Real Time Strategy
This was by the makers of Starcraft and another fun build, create and wage war kind of game.
Civilization II
Genre: Real Time Strategy
Sim City 4
Genre: City-Building Game
Unlike other genres, Sim City has its own niche genre. A player builds up a city from scratch, controlling everything – roads, traffic congestion, taxes, policies, pollution, citizen happiness.
I was addicted for a long time. You start by building a small city few houses and population in hundreds which eventually grows into a city of skyscrapers with a million population.
You act as the mayor of this city and get to build everything roads, highways, railways, bus stops, subways , schools, parks, police station, fire station, power plants and then you get to run the city.
Ace Combat 6
Genre: Flight Simulation/ Air Combat
Platform: Xbox 360
There are only a few Air combat games and Ace Combat is the best of the lot. You control a plane and go about shooting down enemy aircraft in dogfights.
If you want to get a feel of flying and the thrill of combat, this is the game for you.
Prototype
Genre: Action-Adventure
Platform(s): Xbox 360, PC
When I first saw Srinivas playing this – running, leaping across buildings, flying, tearing apart enemies, eating people, I could not believe my eyes.
WoW I never saw a game like. I feel like superman when I play this game.
You control one character and he can do almost anything. This game takes inspiration from freerunning or parkour concepts.
Tekken 5
Genre: Fighting
Platform: PS2/3, Xbox 360
Tekken was an instant hit with my roommates in Bangalore. None of them play videos games, but when they saw that it was quite simple to kick someone’s ass in this kick-boxing type game.
The characters were cool and the ladies, hot. Christine was our favorite fighting girl.
A great party entertainer where everyone can try their hand and still have fun.
Fields of Battle
Genre: Turn based Strategy
My brother introduced us to this turn based World War I game. His friends and I were always playing the Allies when he played as the axis powers.
You conquer lands, build armies and basically go for world domination.
The graphics were basic but the depth and the playability was wonderful.
Serious Sam
Genre: FPS
I just started playing this game and boy! it is fun. Again the graphics are too simple and out-of-place when compared to the present day games.
But the simplicity brings out the fun element. Just point and blow up headless guys and monsters.
Hard day at work?
Then there is nothing better than 30 minutes of relaxation with your favorite game.
Of course, for the latest PC games you need to invest in graphics card and monitor.
Graphics Card – Rs.3000 – Rs.5000
20+ Inch HD monitor – Rs10,000 – Rs15,000
Happy Gaming!
Its 12 weeks after I announced my plan to the world – Write for (at least) 30 minutes a day.
My blog has changed drastically during this time and I along with it.
History….
I had, on rare occasions, dabbled in writing – the only creative art that I wasn’t pathetic at.
The interest was there . The commitment wasn’t.
But every time I wrote, it generated a little interest for people. My writing was actually better that my own low expectations (Based on my past records, I never actually give credit to myself for starting something worthwhile).
Anyway, after the first few attempts, I realized that I didn’t suck!
What really sucked was my ability for a decent effort. So after a few over enthusiastic posts across 3 different blogs, things fizzled out. I stopped writing.
What happened now?
My creative life was rotting, my spirit was growing restless by the hour. I HAD to do something about it.
This time I tried to anticipate my excuses or problems with sustaining a momentum. Then I had an idea – take small steps everyday.
What an Idea Sirji!
The plan had to be simple and easy to take in. After all, I didn’t want to be overwhelmed trying to do too much too soon.
Plan - Write 30 minutes everyday
My goal was to make writing a habit.
On the board it looked great
- It was very simple.
- Took up just 30 minutes in a day.
- Doing it consistently will generate results over time.
But implementing this plan was not as easy
What Went Wrong?
Slacking
After the initial enthusiasm, writing every single day was very hard. Things kept coming in the way – work, friends, distractions, travel
I tried not let my life go out of control, but over time I was writing at 2AM on a weekday. The plan suddenly became too complicated and too hard. I was taking a day off and soon that became several days.
Distractions
My life was pretty much occupied with this plan. I was trying to balance both work and my writing. Soon I missed my fun activities – gaming, movies, reading, going out.
Sometimes, I indulged in these distractions at the cost of the day’s writing.
Large posts
A big problem was my failed attempts to break up large posts into 30 minute sessions. For example, my recent post took 3 hours to complete and I did that on Monday night.
For a practical plan, I should break the large post into 30 minute slots. But that is easier said. It is very hard to stop when you build up a rhythm.
I also felt that stopping in the middle will reduce the overall quality of the subject.
Discipline and Self-motivation
Developing any craft takes discipline and lot of self-motivation. I was writing at all kinds of times in a day and I would slack when there weren’t many views.
I would start writing again when there was a good comment or someone asks me why I wasn’t writing.
To make this work I must motivate myself.
Success factors
Right from the start of the plan, there was a tremendous improvement. The plan was actually very useful. Although the actual execution should become better, my efforts have shown results.
The numbers will tell you the story
| Before the Plan | After the Plan | Change | |
| Time Period | 16+ months | 3+ months | |
| Posts | 5 | 48 | |
| Avg Posts/Month | 0.3 | 16 | +5333% |
| Views | 436 | 1952 | |
| Avg Views/month | 27 | 650 | +2407% |
In just 3 months = 15% (of total)
I created 38 posts = 90% (of total)
to get 1952 views = 80% (of total)
Public interest just zoomed
Great stuff
The last three months have shown some pleasant moments and wonderful feedback from readers.
- Venturing into poems just because of lack of time. Surprisingly, I received a lot of appreciation – gives me confidence to continue.
A poem which made someone weep.
Few of the readers asking for my writing almost everyday.
Aaron following up on 30 minute project. Thanks Aaron.
Abhi appreciating my efforts to put quality images in my blog posts.
Writing about topics requested by readers.
What Next?
I love what has happened until now and seeing other’s enthusiasm, I’m even more sure of writing about random stuff.
Coming Soon page.
I created a new page for the blog. This will show the posts I plan to write about or already in progress. It is a like an administration page which is now transparent to readers.
Readers can also post a quick post idea, or any thing they want. If I do plan to carry out those ideas, it goes under the Reader’s column in this page.
- I should follow-up on tasks from the Coming Soon page.
- I should break large posts into manageable chunks, writing across days.
- Be consistent and not extravagant. Writing is a marathon not a 100m dash.
- Make this a top priority task of the day. After all it is just for 30 minutes.
- Never miss a day’s writing!
- Don’t use excuses. It is just plain stupid. Instead analyze and come up with solutions.
The other better Project
After a few days when this project started, I came across another project in the blogosphere. That plan was also simple – create art everyday.
In many ways, this has been a better project and well updated till date. The artist is an inspiration to my project.
- Created by a brilliant artist, Aaron Knapp.
- Every piece of art is donated to the world. You just have to ask.
- His ideas and writing behind these arts is equally brilliant.
- Unlike me, he’s not missed a single day in the Dailys Project.
I’m glad I stumbled on to his works.
Thanks! All
Thanks to all of you for tolerating my creative experiments. Your visits and comments have been the single most important aspect of my life in the last 3 months.